Are you thinking about going to confession but haven’t yet decided to take the step? Are you confused because you don’t know how to properly prepare? With the following simple tips, you can take your first steps.

HOW TO PREPARE FOR CONFESSION

Confession is the sacrament of reconciliation with God, when a penitent, in the presence of a witness—a priest—reveals their sins to God and promises not to repeat them, and the priest prays for the forgiveness of the person’s sins. Confession should be distinguished from a personal conversation with a priest, during which you can discuss certain aspects of your life and receive answers to questions. Of course, some questions can be raised during confession, but if there are many or if their discussion would take a long time, it’s better to ask the priest to set aside a separate time for a conversation. Now, let’s move on directly to the advice on preparing for confession.

1. Recognize your sins.

If you are thinking about confession, it means you already acknowledge that something in your life has not been as it should. True repentance begins precisely with recognizing one’s sins.
What is a sin and what is not?
A sin is anything that contradicts God’s will, or in other words, God’s plan for the world and for humankind. God’s plan is revealed in the Holy Scripture — the Bible. A partial, more “condensed” expression of God’s plan for practical human life is the commandments — the well-known Ten Commandments, given to Moses on Mount Sinai. Jesus Christ summarized the essence of these commandments as follows: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart” and “love your neighbor as yourself.”
Before preparing for your first confession, it is helpful to re-read the Sermon on the Mount (chapters 5–7 of the Gospel of Matthew) and the parable of the Last Judgment, where Jesus Christ explains that our lives will be judged based on how we treated others.

2. Don’t use “lists of sins.”

Recently, among believers (especially the “church-going” ones, who are familiar with church tradition and often — unfortunately — with related superstitions), various lists of sins have become widespread. These often do more harm than good, as they can turn confession into a formal enumeration of “what is considered sinful.”
In fact, confession must never be formal.
Also, some of these lists are outright ridiculous, so such brochures should not be taken seriously.

The only exception might be the shortest cheat-sheet of common sins, especially those that people may not immediately recognize as sins.
Here is an example of such a list:

a. Sins against God:

Unbelief in God, or assigning significance to other “spiritual forces,” religious doctrines besides the Christian faith; participating in other religious practices or rituals, even “for fun” or “just to be polite”;
Nominal faith, unexpressed in life — that is, practical atheism (acknowledging God’s existence mentally, but living as if one doesn’t believe);
Creating idols — placing anything above God in the hierarchy of values. An idol can be anything we truly “serve”: money, power, career, health, knowledge, hobbies — all of these can be good in their proper place, but if put first, they become idols;
Turning to fortune tellers, sorcerers, psychics, etc. — an attempt to “control” spiritual forces through magic, without repentance or personal effort to change one’s life in accordance with God’s commandments.

b. Sins against others:

Neglect of others, stemming from pride and selfishness, inattentiveness to the needs of others (your “neighbor” is not just family or friends — it’s anyone near you at any given moment);
Judging or criticizing others (“By your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned,” says the Lord);
Sexual sins of various kinds, especially adultery (breaking marital fidelity) and unnatural sexual relations, which are incompatible with belonging to the Church. Cohabitation without marriage — the so-called “civil marriage” — is also considered fornication. However, a registered but unchurched marriage (not consecrated in church) is not fornication and does not prevent participation in Church life;
Abortion — the taking of human life, essentially murder. One must repent even if it was done for medical reasons. It’s also a grave sin to pressure a woman into abortion (e.g., by a husband). True repentance includes a firm intention never to repeat this sin;
Theft, refusal to pay for services, fare evasion, withholding wages from employees or hired workers;
Lying in all forms, especially slander, spreading rumors (we usually cannot be sure they are true), breaking promises.

This is a sample list of common sins, but once again, don’t get carried away with such lists. The best approach to confession is using the Ten Commandments and listening to your own conscience.

3. Speak only about sins — and only your own.

At confession, talk only about your own sins, without diminishing or justifying them.
This may seem obvious, but priests often hear instead of confession life stories about relatives, neighbors, or coworkers.
When people confess the wrongs done to them, they are judging others and often trying to justify themselves. Their personal sins are presented as inevitable or excusable.
But sin is always the result of a personal choice. Rarely do we face a true moral dilemma between two evils.

4. Don’t try to use special language.

When talking about your sins, don’t try to phrase them “correctly” or “in church language.” Just use plain, honest words.
You are confessing to God, who already knows your sins better than you do, so you’re not going to shock Him by naming things as they are.

You won’t shock the priest either.
People often feel embarrassed to tell certain sins to a priest, fearing judgment. But priests hear countless confessions over the years.
Also, sins are not original — they haven’t changed in thousands of years.
A priest witnessing sincere repentance over serious sins will never condemn, but will rejoice in your turning to righteousness.

5. Focus on serious matters, not trivialities.

Don’t start your confession with sins like breaking the fast, missing church, working on holidays, watching TV, or wearing the “wrong” clothes.

First, these are not your most serious sins.
Second, some of them may not be sins at all.
If you’ve been away from God for years, why focus on fasting violations when the entire direction of your life needs rethinking?
Third, endless dwelling on petty issues is not helpful.

God seeks love and a contrite heart — not a checklist of mistakes.
“Watched TV during Lent” and “did embroidery on a holiday” miss the point entirely.

The main focus should be on your relationship with God and with others.
In the Gospel, your “neighbor” includes not only those you like, but everyone you encounter in life — especially your family.
Christian life for those with families begins in the family and is tested by it.
That’s the best training ground for cultivating love, patience, forgiveness, and acceptance.

6. Start changing your life before confession.

In Greek, the word for repentance is metanoia, which literally means a change of mind.
It’s not enough to admit your wrongdoings.
God is not a prosecutor, and confession is not a statement of guilt.
Repentance means a change of life: you must intend not to return to your sins and strive with all your strength to avoid them.

This change should begin before you come to confession. The moment you walk into church should be the seal of a transformation already underway.

If a person intends to continue sinning after confession — perhaps it’s worth postponing?

Note: when we talk about changing your life and renouncing sin, we primarily mean so-called “mortal sins,” as the Apostle John called them — those incompatible with Church life.
These include denial of faith, murder, and adultery.
Also, extreme forms of other vices: hatred, theft, cruelty, etc.
These can be stopped once and for all through a willful decision supported by God’s help.
As for “everyday” sins, they are likely to continue even after confession. We must be prepared for that and humbly accept it as a defense against spiritual pride: no human is sinless — only God.

7. Be at peace with everyone.

“Forgive, and you will be forgiven,” says the Lord. “For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged.” And even more strongly: “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
If we ask God for forgiveness, we ourselves must first forgive those who have wronged us. Of course, there are situations when it is physically impossible to ask someone for forgiveness, or doing so might seriously worsen already difficult relationships. In such cases, it is important at the very least to forgive from your own heart and to hold nothing against your neighbor.

Some practical recommendations.
Before you come to confession, it’s a good idea to find out when confession is usually held at your church. In many parishes, services take place not only on Sundays and feast days, but also on Saturdays, and in larger churches or monasteries—even on weekdays. The largest number of confessing faithful is usually seen during Great Lent. Of course, Lent is a special time of repentance, but for those coming to confession for the first time or after a long break, it is better to choose a time when the priest is not too busy. It may be that confession is held on Friday evening or Saturday morning—in these times, there are likely to be fewer people than during the Sunday service.
It’s best if you have the opportunity to speak to a priest personally and ask him to assign a convenient time for confession.

There are special prayers that express a spirit of repentance. It is good to read them on the eve of confession. The Penitential Canon to the Lord Jesus Christ is printed in almost every prayer book, except the very shortest ones.

During confession, the priest may assign you an epitimia (penance): a temporary abstinence from receiving Communion, reading specific prayers, performing prostrations, or works of mercy. This is not a punishment, but a means of healing from sin and receiving full forgiveness.
Epitimia may be given when the priest sees that the penitent does not have a proper attitude toward serious sins, or, conversely, when he sees that a person feels a sincere need to practically “work out” their repentance.
Epitimia cannot be indefinite—it is appointed for a specific period and must eventually be concluded.

As a rule, believers receive Holy Communion after confession. Although confession and Communion are two separate sacraments, it is best to combine your preparation for confession with preparation for Communion.

If these small pieces of advice have helped you prepare for confession—glory be to God.
Remember that this sacrament should be regular. Don’t postpone your next confession for many years. Confessing at least once a month helps you stay spiritually attentive and responsible toward your daily life—in which, ultimately, our Christian faith must be lived out.

HOW TO PREPARE FOR HOLY COMMUNION

A guide for a Christian desiring to approach the Holy Chalice to partake of the life-giving Body and Blood of Christ the Lord.

An Orthodox Christian who wishes to partake of the Holy Sacrament of Communion must remember that in order for Communion not to be “unto judgment and condemnation,” certain essential and disciplinary conditions must be met.

The disciplinary conditions are not strictly mandatory, and in extraordinary situations (for example, in cases of serious illness or at the point of death), they may not be fulfilled. However, Orthodox Christians should keep in mind that these conditions were developed through the Church’s long spiritual experience, and therefore, in normal circumstances, external preparation (attending services, fasting, home prayer, etc.) is also considered obligatory.

1. Understanding the Meaning

One must clearly understand where and why they are coming.
They are coming to enter into communion with God, to become a partaker of Divinity, to unite with Christ, to partake of the Lord’s Supper for their sanctification and cleansing from sins, not to perform a religious ritual or “drink some juice” or “have a dinner.”

The Apostle Paul says:

“When you come together, it is not the Lord’s supper you eat, for as you eat, each of you goes ahead with your own supper. One remains hungry, another gets drunk. Don’t you have homes to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? Shall I praise you in this? Certainly not!”
(1 Corinthians 11:20–22)

2. Sincere Desire

A person must have a completely sincere desire to unite with Christ. This desire must be free from hypocrisy and must be accompanied by the fear of God:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”
(Proverbs 9:10)

One must remember:

“Whoever eats this Bread or drinks the Cup of the Lord unworthily will be guilty of the Body and Blood of the Lord.”
(1 Corinthians 11:27)

3. Inner Peace

A person approaching the Chalice must be in a state of inner peace, free from anger, hostility, or hatred toward anyone.
In such a state, approaching the Sacrament is impossible for a believer.
Our Lord Jesus Christ said:

“If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
(Matthew 5:23–24)

4. Belonging to the Church

Another essential condition: one must not be violating the canons of the Church that exclude them from Communion or from Church fellowship — that is, one must remain within the boundaries of faith and moral life permitted by the Church.

“Grace is given to those who do not transgress the boundaries of faith and do not break the traditions of the Fathers.”
(Epistle to Diognetus)

5. Confession

The tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church requires mandatory confession before receiving Communion:

“Let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that Bread and drink of that Cup. For whoever eats and drinks unworthily, eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s Body. That is why many among you are weak and sick, and many have died.”
(1 Corinthians 11:28–29)

Confession may be done the evening before, or in the morning before the liturgy. In certain cases (holidays, priest overload, large crowds, etc.), it may be done a few days in advance.

6. Liturgical Fast

According to the ancient Church tradition, a liturgical fast (fast before Communion) is necessary:
From midnight before the day of Communion, nothing should be eaten or drunk, since one approaches the Chalice on an empty stomach.

On feast nights (Pascha, Christmas, etc.), the Holy Synod has determined that the fast must be at least six hours.

What if someone accidentally swallows water while washing or bathing?
St. Timothy of Alexandria answers in his canonical epistle:

“He must still commune. Otherwise, the devil, finding an excuse to drive him away from Communion, will use that opportunity more often.” (Answer 16)

In any doubtful situation, consult a priest before the liturgy.

7. Bodily Fast

A person preparing for Communion should strive to prepare worthily. The mind should not be excessively scattered with worldly distractions or entertainment.

During preparation days, if possible, one should attend services at church and pray more diligently at home.

A tool for this more focused spiritual life is fasting (in Church practice called “goveniye”):
The body is restricted in food, especially meat and dairy.

The bodily fast before Communion usually lasts several days, and the general rule is:

The less frequently a person communes, the stricter and longer the fast should be — and vice versa.

The length and intensity of fasting is also determined by family and social circumstances (living in a non-church environment, hard physical or mental labor), and may be lessened accordingly.

Note: For Christians who observe one-day and multi-day fasts throughout the year, during Bright Paschal Week, the bodily fast before Communion is typically lifted entirely.

8. Bodily Purity

There are also bodily purity requirements for men and women.
The general rule is abstinence from marital relations on the eve of Communion.

According to ancient ascetic tradition, unless there is a pressing reason, men are advised not to commune the day after nocturnal emissions, and women are not to commune during their monthly cycle or during the 40-day postpartum period:

“To pray — regardless of one’s state or disposition — to remember the Lord and seek His help is always permitted. But to approach that which is the Holy of Holies is forbidden to one not clean in soul and body.”
(2nd Canon of St. Dionysius of Alexandria)

9. Attendance at Church Services and Home Prayer

Since church services help one better prepare for the Liturgy (the “common work” – from Greek), a healthy person must attend the evening service the day before Communion and pray together with the Church.

At home, in addition to morning and evening prayers, one should also read the Prayers in Preparation for Holy Communion (read after the morning prayers, on the day of Communion).

In the evening before Communion, one should also read the Three Canons:

The Penitential Canon to the Lord
The Supplicatory Canon to the Most Holy Theotokos
The Canon to the Guardian Angel

Those who wish, out of personal devotion, may also read additional prayers such as the Akathist to Jesus the Sweetest.

SOURCE:

Alexander Bozhenov
Patriarchal Center for the Spiritual Development of Children and Youth
http://vichuga-voskr.cerkov.ru/2014/07/04/podgotovitsya-k-ispovedi